Thursday, 1 July 2010

Vampire Craze-ies

(Images sourced from Google Images -,,,

I know I am going against the majority here – that is the majority of children, teenage girls, well probably just about everyone nationally but the new vampire revelation that has taken over just about everything, for me is just a big, fanged no no.

I won’t profess how bad the Twilight Saga’s are because to tell you the truth, I haven’t seen any so it would be wrong of me to have an opinion. But that is how interested I am in this dark, mythological, weird craze...I don’t even want to see them.

I am a huge movie lover and will willingly watch just about anything (minus scary ghost films!) but another genre I care to pass by are vampire/zombie films. I can’t say that the reason is their obvious faux-ness because I love the comic-book turned movie chronicles that see’s Batman, the Hulk and Spiderman in action, and they couldn’t be further removed from realism. But at least they are part human for half of the feature film length. Maybe that’s what puts me off. I don’t know, it seems a pretty poor excuse so I’ll just have to safely say it’s because they don’t appeal to me whatsoever!

So how come the whole world has gone crazy for the theme??!!

We now have Twilight, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, we have fashion lines promoting the monochrome, Dracula look, we have magazine spreads following the dark, and mysterious fantasy and we have upteen millions of freakishly obsessed fans!! So what am I missing?

Is Rob Pattinson the sole reason for burdening us with this delirious vampire take-off by using his apparent ‘Drop dead gorgeousness’, oozing ‘sex appeal’ and ‘vampishly good looks’?? I’m really sorry girls but I just don’t get it.

To me he’s flat-faced, has sunken in eyes, a mis-shapen nose, big, messy Jedward hair and is overall rather creepy looking. And hello, he’s actually quite dull. I’ve found squirrels more interesting than he.

He almost won me over with his performance in ‘Remember Me’ but I’ve come to decide it was his character I quite liked and not him as to me he still looked messy and dishevelled. But maybe that’s his thing? Ok ok the boy has great bone structure. What girl doesn’t fall for a chin as chiselled as a rock?

But maybe I’ve hit the nail on the head there. To all vampire fans, did your obsession stem from Rob’s hard-to-resist facial structure?? Because really I can’t see any other reason for it. So enlighten me, please??

One thing I do know though are that many of you vampire/Twilight/Pattinson junkies will be crossing over to the dark side after tonight (the dark side being over here with me – the side that has remained sane from the blood-sucking crazies). Because tonight see’s the premiere of the new Twilight film Eclipse in Leicester Square where thousands of fans have queued for almost two days (really girls?!) to be first in line to catch a glimpse of Rob himself and his co-stars Kristen Stuart and Taylor Lautner (who by the way is way more attractive!!).

But tears will be heard instead of screams from the capital’s night-life centre as guess what? Pattinson isn’t even attending.

Sorry dedicated fans, I guess his love for you is about as strong as mine is for him.

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